Surreptitious Paradise

Amid the cerulean heaven of her deepest dream, a perfect love exists – a wonderful rope of sweet-scented flowers connecting her to him.

              

The evening was as serene as the Garden of Eden when they first met. The stars were dancing in an endless sky that bears the absence of light – feasting with the moon as it smiles at the whole land. The somnolent clouds were wandering along a certain path towards a place that no man could ever touch. The leaves were in raptures as they sway with the melody of the night. They were utterly strangers then that even she did not surmise that he was destined to be the lad who will teach her to love someone more than she used to love her erstwhile bloke ere.

             

He is not totally the ilk of man that she used to dream of before. He is not mysterious, taciturn and she felt no spark at the hearth of her heart upon knowing him. Paradoxically, an infallible affection for him abruptly burgeoned inside of her. She woke up one morning and realized the fact that she already wants him to be her own. And, as the cycle of day and night goes by, little by little, she deciphered a reality that destiny has concealed afore – he is more than the one she has been searching for.

              

He started to become her inspiration, her only love. Nil in this world can supersede the beauty of his winsome eyes. His smile is the stream of superfluous happiness. She cannot talk zealous and fain without him around. A day is not complete without hearing something about or from him. And every night she sees his image flashing anywhere and everywhere she stares. He is the only one who can pull the tattered edges of her soul together afresh. It is not that she cannot live without him loving her back – she can live but without such love, life is a void. He is the star of her reveries and the angel that sweeps away every shred of obfuscating thoughts in her head.

              

But, he is a pipedream that she could never claim. And, somehow, love is not for the two of them. He was already holding someone else’s hand, few years before fate allowed them to meet, and he loves that damsel more than he loves himself. And while such woman relishes the enthralling world with him, she enjoys seeing the man of her dreams floating in heavenly delight even if it is not because of her.

              

Her feelings for him remained far from everyone’s discovery. She never told anybody about it for she knows that not a single person could understand her. She is not that numbskull. She knows that she is investing her emotions to the wrong lad but there is a grotesque voice inside her saying that she must cling to him no matter what – even if he was already clinging to somebody else.

She is always calm, cheerful and full of life – nobody knows that she is dying inside. It is not easy to love someone who was already happy and contented with somebody else. You cannot tell anyone about what you feel though you want to scream to the entire universe that you love and hero-worship that certain person. And, it kills deep within for you can hear your conscience yelling at you each time you pray for him to love you back – making you realize the truth that as you wish to have him, the whole world is also asking God to make their love last until eternity.

              

At times when she can no longer feign that she is in mirth and hide the pain behind her smile, she stays at her room pretending to be asleep.  But, the truth is, she is only amidst her sweetest reverie – alone with the one she love, surrounded with roses and butterflies, loving each others. Perhaps, she was already too old to unwind in the middle of an imaginary land but only her mind’s eye can erase all the virulent things that are happening in her real life.

              

She kept on waiting for his love – she did not cede, she did not succumb, she valiantly hold on. He knocked at their house one forenoon, and asked her to go with him. They went to a jewelry store. He told her to choose between two expensive diamond rings. She was completely in bliss that time. Maybe this was the beginning of their love story, the answer to all her prayers and wishes – that he has realized that she was the one destined to grow old with him.

Few months passed, she found herself walking down the aisle. Her eyes were full of love and profound happiness. Tears slowly roll down her face as she gazed at him. He smiled.

The wedding ceremony ended. No one can explain how joyous he was then – and so as she. He hugged her tight and whispered in her ears: “You were the most beautiful Maid of Honor I’ve ever seen.”

“Best wishes,” she said with her sweetest smile.

What people often say is true -- the hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else. But she accepted the fact that they were only fated to be just friends. She was happy seeing him sated in her arms and she does not have any rue for not telling him what she feels. She may have left those words unsaid but she succeeded in making him happy by giving him the greatest gift – her sacrifices in order to keep him away from pain even if it costs more that a tear.

[November 2011]