Above her are somnolent clouds -- tired but still
doing their duty to wander along the endless universe tonight. The sky, a
dark-violet blanket that somehow covers the paradise of God from being exposed to
the world, is now an enthralling work of art. But more than those cotton-like
objects in the sky, she prefers looking at the pieces of hope that glitter
before her eyes -- though these shreds, right now, is breaking her heart.
The stars, even if she loves them so much, crumble
her soul at this moment. They shine at their best as they hope to brighten up
the night but the sky remains dark. They are a lot but are never enough. What
are they compare with the burning eye above? Something which is alone by
itself, only one, but can transform the violet, or black, place up there into
blue.
Could they ever supersede the glowing sun? Yes,
if they are near enough. But they are not. Most of them are aflame brighter
than this dwarf star but they are a billion light years away. There is no way
-- no path to bring them near. The charm of their colors will always be only a
tiny flicker.
These stars are her affections -- scattered in
his sky in different colors, shapes and sizes. The sun is a creature that her
light could never defeat. Should she wait for the coldest winter to turn the
giant ball of gas into an enormous cube of ice? The darkest moment -- the start
of every daytime in perfect dimness? When the sky longs for even a single scintilla
to show up and the only answer lies with the distant stars that dance in silver
gowns when evening comes?
Or, must she embrace the fact that she will
always be like those stars -- flashing before his eyes yet too far from the
paradise of his heart?
Right now, she could not tell. Somehow, it is
too early to choose -- though too early is also too late, sometimes. It is true,
it is too early to decide whether to let go or not. But, she will soon enough.
She has loved him yesterday. She loves him
today. She will love him tomorrow, for sure.
Tomorrows, however, are infinite. Will her soul
choose to love him the day after tomorrow? Will her heart cherish him longer
than the promises of a limitless time? Will he help her keep that love anon?
She looks at the sky again -- pictures the whole
scene, captures the masterpiece in her memory. Then, she walks. She will look
at the sky some other time -- to determine the fate of her stars.
She wanders.
She wonders.
Things can appear odd and different sometimes
-- more grotesque than you can expect. What on earth let her form a concrete
idea out of obfuscating thoughts? Nobody knows -- even she, the only one who hears
herself concludes, cannot determine the source of such voice. But still, she does
not just surmise that the stars are talking to her. She is deeply sure -- she believes
that those parcels are bound to express. But, does she get the right message?
Only time can answer as days turn the page.
[February 2013]
